My Soul's on Fire

Miss wired
My souls on fire
I can't believe this is me

Seeking something spiritual
mystical
beyond this reality

Take me to another world
Cut this chain that has a hold
of my mind
Break the ties of time
follow the spiral
down

Deeper it flows
This something
Spiritual
Mystical
Beyond my reality

Looking back at what I have become

Miss wired
my souls on fire
I can't believe this is me.

Grounded

Now that I am alive
I know just what it feels like
It feels like dying the slowest death
I didn't want this
I didn't need it
I put the knife to my throat
And I let you go

I taught you to fly
And you flew away
I clipped my wings
I am grounded for Eternity

You gave me your soull
I devoured it and threw you away
Little did I know you still have mine
Why won't you destroy this?
Insignificant excuse
Curse my name
Put me out of the misery I unleashed upon my self

I am grounded
You flew away
I taught you to fly
And you just flew away
Grounded for eternity
You still have my soul

Sticks & Stones

Don't treat me like a child
Don't beat me like a man
I'm made of sticks
I'm made of stone
I will not bow down
I will not worship your throne

Scold me like a man
Whip me like a child
I'm broken now
I'm crumbling now

I get down on my knees
To spit on your feet
Take me to the gallows
That's where I'll find defeat
That's where I'll curse your crown
Crown of guilt and lies

Do me the favor - Rip it all away
Leaving me bruised and broken
The pleasure is all mine
I'll be patiently waiting
To be turned into dust again
Just hang me out to dry
Hang me out to die

You think you've won but your still alive
You can't escape your own mind
As the whole world dies around you
In your name
You will see the guilt
It was all in vein

Don't worry like a child
Take the pain like a man
You are broken, now
Like the sticks
You're crumbling, now
Like the stone

Your on your knees now
Wanting mercy now
Those who haunt you, see your pain
You did them a favor
You tied your own noose, you found defeat

Worship your crown of guilt
You are the disease
You only contaminate
Look at me now
What have you found?
I'll see you when we're both in the ground

Mindfree

You can't take away the guilt
When you close your mind
Empowered with ignorance
Keep taking, giving so little

They will bow to their leader
With blind folds on they will kiss their feet
Feed their desires
Wanting more power

Make me your sheep
Make me your slave
Free your mind
Close your mouth
Eat the shit you are told
There is nothing left of our souls
When you keep feeding their hunger
Still wanting, Needing power

Recognition for controlling the masses
Killing the weak and the poor
With intention to destroy her (our mother)
To destroy you

Close your mouth and mute the shit
open your eyes
deep with in you will understand
The path of least resistance
Understand, criminals control you
Brand me as a slave
Only in flesh
My mind is free
I only see with in

You think you own my soul
But only my instinct
Survival depends on nobody else, Mother will open your mind
Listen.

Mein Engel

I'm breathing slowly
Gasping for air
The angel already came
in my dreams
Said I was ready
To see the light
She opened my Eye....

Cautiously I passed to another world
My eye opened wide
To peel back the possibilities
That this isn't a dream
Embrace the thought of this alter reality
Beat a path to guide my mind
To become open
To destroy the blind
To shed light on the lies

Release the Ego

The feeling of displacement in this reality grows every day. Feeling more like I am nowhere and nobody. Not that I wish to be anybody in particular besides who I naturally am. It's only the perception of this society that is not going in any positive direction. Everywhere I go it's another face experiencing consciously, or subconsciously the state of loss. The emptiness that surrounds every human being. It is quite negative sounding, but I am not trying to come off that way. The logical stand point is the direction I am intending. Can you not see it? Feel it? Even hear it? Another bullshit conversation about someones favorite football team? Another complaint about how many ice cubes were put in someones drink? Why are so many people focusing their energy into such pointless things? I can not understand this. As much as I have tried, I still can not fathom. I am not one to be disrespectful and call someone out in a situation like that. Rather than accepting the negativity they are pushing off onto me, I can't help but think of pointless the words are coming out of their mouth.

I begin to observe the source of this negativity spreading like a plague. Almost every conversation, or look on someones face. It is full of sorrow and negativity. With out the realization of it at all! The sorrow comes from the lack of realization on their part. For example. A lady flips out like her own children are going to starve for the rest of their lives because she must pay Twenty-Five cents for whipped cream on her Five dollar gourmet coffee. It blows my mind. A man becomes enraged when his favorite football team player fails to do what he is expected to do. Expectation only leads to disappointments. You can not guarantee anything to happen that is not in this present moment. The Past and Future are but only an image with in your brain that you've made up. Are people that ignorant to get upset because there inner expectations (that are obviously demanded), are not met in visual reality? Does a person really think that paying Twenty-Five Cents more for whipped topping is that relevant to experiencing life at all? It's almost as if they feed off of the negativity in their lives. If that is all you are offering, that is really all you will receive. As it is the law of attraction of energy. Positive. Negative. Which will it be?

In a non conceited, nor egotistic way; Why should I shape who I am to fit your comfort zone? Why do I need to mold myself into this image you expect of me? For what purpose? Is it because you lack the brain capacity to accept anything beyond what you perceive people as on Television? In a simple bullshit conversation, why should I pretend that I can relate to something you are telling me to gain acceptance from you. Why should I attempt to live through lies just to fit into the puzzle of your ego? If I am going to engage into a conversation with somebody and that person does not appreciate me because I am not a piece from there puzzled ego. Why would I want to talk to them anyway? Not to sound rude. Just logical. That is their own ignorance. We must learn to respect, appreciate, and accept people for who they. Positively, or negatively. In example; I may engage in conversation with someone and realize they are self-righteous and egotistic, naive, but charismatic. I can appreciate them for being charismatic. I can observe the self-righteousness and ego. And realize whom they are. Which is most cases these days is completely fake. And when you can psychologically analyse someone in that type of situation. You don't need to feel hatred. Or bitter. All you must do is respect whom they are as a person. Whether it be that self-righteous person. (You don't have to continue talking to them.) Or it could even be an intellectual charismatic who actually has something relative to converse about. Respect is the key. I am not one to judge, but observe from the outside, in. From their stand point, to mine. Only to gain perspective in my own life.

Back to the point at the beginning. Nowhere. Nobody but a speck on the land, on this speck of an earth, in this speck of a galaxy with in the universe. Is your ego really relevant? Discover self-realization. Not self-righteousness. Let me help you wake you from that altered-state. Open your mind. Think for yourself.

Bliss in the Human Mind

The majority of people look at there current state of affairs, and say "This is who I am." That is not who you are, That is who you were. You see, if you look at your current state of affairs, right now. For example, you don't have a lot of money. Or your life is not on the road that you want it to be on. Or maybe you do not have the relationship you want. This is not who you are. That is the residual out come of your past thoughts and actions. So we are constantly living in this residual of thoughts and actions that we have taken in the past. If you look at your current state of affairs and define yourself by that. Then your thoughts will attract nothing more than the same in the future. So, apply yourself. And do not let your past and present define who you are... Because your exact thoughts will attract what is to become. Your mind will believe exactly what you tell it to believe. And if you believe in your thoughts. And tell yourself what you want. Your mind will correspond with those thoughts. The outcome will be immense. Same with anything else. Not just thoughts and emotions. If you tell yourself you are going to accomplish something. You will do it, because in your mind. You have control of your own thoughts and actions. You can do anything, if you put your mind to it. If you make your thoughts and actions your priorities. You will accomplish anything you desire.

Apply these ideas into your everyday life, and you may just see how much more enjoyable it can be having a positive outlook on all things.

The Dream

The dream is not as clear as it was nor is it clear as I wish it would be. I don't remember her name. And I vaguely remember the beautiful pale skin. She was younger than me. Still lived with her parents. I feel like we were on vacation at a hotel or resort. Her parents usually spent more time ignoring her than anything. I don't remember exactly how I met her. But I do remember the feeling from deep within myself when ever my eyes would absorb the radiant beauty of her. I contemplated the silent route as always. But this time I knew it had to be different. I had a few run ins with her father whom I had the displeasure of listening to before I even knew that his beautiful daughter existed in this fucked up world. He was an asshole. His egotistic attitude tied into every movement and word he stated as if he was the king of the jungle. Rich folk is what they were. But not filthy rich. The first time I met her she was alone. And our conversation was not as awkward as I had pre visualized. Perhaps it's because I was mesmerized by the way she looked at me. Her stare and grins confused me because I was not sure how to read her gestures. She was very closed, only saying a few words in our conversation but was not showing any signs of shame or annoyance. It was obvious she has men try to sweet talk her quite often. She knew how to repel by grasping a mans heart and then crushing it as the men walk away with their ego ruptured. She wrapped her finger around my soul with a single look from her green eyes. I was hoping she wouldn't break me with her lack of interest in me. At that point I guess I really didn't care what happened I was so in awe in her presence. The next few days went by as slow as I could make them. We would meet up everyday and go to random places that were secluded from the area around the building we were staying in. At one point her father caught us sitting and talking while drinking hot tea. He told her to go back to there room. That's when he pulled me to the side and commanded me to stop talking to her because she has better things to do than talk to a punk like me then insulted me about my facial piercings. I didn't say anything. I had an overwhelming sense of rage as I walked away from him standing there with his hands on his waist. I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing and thinking about. Or if she was thinking of me? More or else what was I supposed to do if I didn't see her again because of that asshole. The next day while I was doing my normal routine I saw her lounging there reading a book occasionally turning her attention to her blackberry. I was hesitant at first to approach her when she looked up and saw me standing there staring at her. She then produced a warm and welcoming grin. My hesitation dispersed and I approached her with a smile as I sensed her radiant aura surround me. We talked for a long time. This time we exchanged phone numbers. She told me to never call but I could text. Her father is always monitoring her phone calls. I was delighted. It got late fast and she was tired. We departed with a long hug. She smelled so good. Like everything that innocence and beauty stands for. I knew right then and there what I needed the rest of my life. Her. For the rest of the night as I lie in bed restlessly I couldn't think of anything but her and I together. I began to think how she thought of me. She was so mysterious and closed up I honestly couldn't decide how she felt. Maybe she couldn't either. The next day I didn't see her or hear from her at all. I felt abandoned and confused. I heard my phone ring. It was her. I can't explain the mixed emotions flowing through me as I heard my phone ringing. She was crying. I had a burst of adrenaline stating "what is going on where are you?" she whimpered... " dad is making us leave tomorrow because he doesn't think spending so much time with a 'guy like you' is good for 'a girl like me'... I'm on the second floor by the cafe". I replied " I'lll be there" and I took off in a sprint to the stairs. A man yelled slow down but I didn't care. I just knew I never wanted to hear that girl cry ever again. When I saw her she looked at me with watery eyes. Tears were running down her cheek. It killed me inside to see her like this. Why was she crying? Does she feel for me like I do for her, or is her father being the controlling dick that he is? I hesitated for a second then walked to her and wiped the tears off her cheek. Her skin was so soft and delicate like the pedals of a rose. I embraced her and told her everything will be fine. She nodded slowly with her head on my shoulder. I felt like I could melt with her in my arms. My thoughts were rushing trying to think of what to say in this moment that I wish would never end. Then I thought... If she's leaving then this is my only chance to tell her how I feel. "You are unlike anyone I have ever met before", I stated. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on and I love how you are calm and mysterious. She looked up in to my eyes and we stared at each other for a second. I thought to myself should I kiss her? She whispered " is that what you tell all the girls?" I then replied with confidence, " you are the only girl I can see that has made me melt like a candle from a single glance." I wanted to kiss her so badly so I leaned in for it. She started to do the same. That's when I saw him out of the corner of my eye right before our lips could have met. My heart dropped to my feet and he grabbed my arm, jerking me away from the only thing that mattered to me. He roared " A lowly punk like you does not deserve my daughter!!" shoving me back I stumble but caught my balance... She burst into tears again..... I filled with rage when I saw the look on her face. I looked at her father standing in front of me, much bigger than me, 6'4 and once athletic. I said "She doesn't deserve you" just loud enough for him to hear me. Clenching his fist glaring at me he came at me like a rhino. I dodged to the side and sent a swift elbow to his nose. He dropped to his knees as the blood began to run down his face. I ran over to his daughter and put my hand out. She looked at me with hesitation and looked at her father whom was starting to raise back up holding his nose. His eyes were Red with rage. She looked back at me and grabbed my hand softly. Her father was coming at us quickly. I started running pulling her along with tears dripping from her chin. He was caching up so I pull the fire alarm and we kept running. Through the halls passed the panicking people, down the stairs out the door. We stopped to catch our breath. Some people and employees were already standing outside. Her father was lost in the mess of panic. I looked down at her and she was already looking at me. We grinned and exchanged thoughts with out speaking.......and we ran........

Delusion

Delusion takes control
Its got me in a spin
I can't even begin
to explain
Trying to remain sane

I never thought of it
I never wanted it
I am just here,now
experiencing it

Seeing is believing
Faith is unreal
Only an assumption
of perception

Believe me
and you will see
the lies
the slander
just sit and listen
just take it in
realize there is no begining
there is no end

We are here now
some how
who knows
whats it matter in the end
everything you have experienced
its who you are, its what you do

So enjoy the ride
fuck the pride
your just another soul
lost in the delusion of reality

Experiencing hell
You are sick
twisted, delusional,
What is here?
What do you fear?
Just another generation
engaged in a brutal feeling
evolving deeper into nothing

We Are Apart Of Her

Im only here to experience the ride
Focusing only on the inside
Kill the ego and
destroy the blind that is hiding your mind
Know your potential
Remember you are mortal

Experiencing only what is
abandon your fear
abandon the lies
taste the tears of nature
you are apart of her
till the day you die
feel her breath sweep you away

Beleiving everything you havnt experienced
never filling your emptiness
medicate your sadness
give away control of your mind

Try to understand
just close your mouth
open your eye
mute the shit
Free your mind
You may realize in time
your a sheep
a slave
Understand what is with in
experiencing it
till you are a part of her again

Medicate your sadness
You will always be empty
Untill you realize what matters
Is only with in

Free your mind, Free your mind
Open your eye, open your eye
Shes always been a part of you
Becoming one when you die

Time

blinded by her distractions
of then and when
wont make her happy now
she wants to understand but doesn't know how

shes dreaming with uncertainty
to reach that point
only to let it fade away
just like everyday

anticipation is growing
never knowing
what is to come

there is no beginning and no end

Flowing through time like a wave
taking it all in
deep with in the mind
there is no time

shes decaying as the arms keep going around
she still hasnt found tomorrow
only forgetting the past, still ticking
but at last
she forgot the past

let it all fade away till another day
the moments fall apart and decay
that's all she ever wanted but the distractions
of then and when
wont make her happy now

Passing her by
and always coming back
never enough to experience
recalling and planning
only to find disappointment
only experiencing the moment
forget the past,forget the future
you can not control what isn't here

My Addiction

She's my drug of choice
Pulling me right back in
With that beautiful voice
Experiencing sin
over and over again.

Never enough feeling
My heart she keeps stealing
Touching me, pushing me....
Farther away
Wanting more everyday

Taking over my thoughts
Flooding in like a storm
She keeps me warm

Always gets old
when away I become cold
I have to see her today
have to find away
Need to feel whats real

I dont want this addiction
Destroying me inside
Never gaining more than pain
I need her again
I need her again